If you had asked me some time ago if I would ever move to another city, I would have said no, or at least, I would have not done that for myself. Because yes, I would have done it for my partner since that is how I was taught, since that is what I saw around me after witnessing a few women move to not just another city, but actually another country, for their partners. So, I didn’t think I could do it for myself just because I wanted to, just because my hometown no longer felt like home, just because it would make me happier.
The thing is, I’m a big introvert, so living in a bigger city wasn’t in my dreams until more recently because of my way of being. But also, the bigger reason why this is a more recent dream it’s because, for the biggest part of my life, I didn’t have self-confidence, I didn’t think I can do big and scary things, I didn’t even dream big since I lacked confidence, I didn’t believe in myself and my abilities, I didn’t even think of doing something like this on my own. So, I had to do some work in order to build my self-confidence and to believe in myself enough to realize that: I can and must dream big; I can go after my dreams without someone holding my hand or supporting me every step of the way or showing me how it’s done; I have what it takes to make my dreams a reality, even the bold and scary ones. And it paid off because now I live in my favorite city. 🤩
Yes, I started dreaming big so today I’m going after my boldest dreams, and I’m changing my life bit by bit because not only I know I can do it, but because I’m following my internal compass and I’m listening to my soul’s whispers instead of society’s voice or that of the people around me. And that’s why when I started to feel that I have outgrown my hometown, and my life, I knew I had to make a big change, I knew I needed to move to a bigger city so I could interact with different people, so I would have access to things that would enrich and expand my life, so I would be happier because living in that small town wasn’t bringing me happiness and on the contrary, it was making me me feel stuck, unhappy, trapped.
The process took longer for me, but I finally moved to Brasov last year because I got to a point where I just couldn’t be in my hometown anymore, even though for those around me it didn’t seem like a good time to move or it felt like an impulsive decision and didn’t understand why I so adamant to do it then, without support or a safety net, or didn’t fully comprehend why I moved to a new city on my own, not for a job or a relationship, “just” for myself. But they weren’t me, they were living in different circumstances, they didn’t feel what I felt, and my best analogy to have people understand is: I felt like when you’re walking with shoes that are at least one size smaller than what you actually wear and you reach to a point when you really can’t take one more step so you take off your shoes and start walking barefoot, I really felt I couldn’t live there anymore, I felt constricted and miserable. So, the decision didn’t come all of a sudden since it was one of my biggest dreams but it did take people by surprise because it wasn’t something I had planned for a while, it was something I dreamed of for some time it’s true, but I took this leap of faith because I have reached my limit and I did it without a safety net or good planning behind it. There are people who might find hard to relate because they have done the big change before reaching their breaking point or with a great plan in place or something to fall on if things didn’t go as expected, but others might find this relatable because we are different people, with different personalities, different mindsets, living in different circumstances, and we make decisions differently.
The point I’m trying to make is, you must do you because not all humans will understand or relate since we are different in so many ways, and you might have to make the choice on your own without having people who will understand the reasoning behind it, and let’s be real, no one will ever fully understand your decision because they are not you, and they are not walking in your shoes. And for some it might feel like a rush decision, but for you it might be the only decision you can take to no longer feel like your soul is crushing or like you’re slowly dying inside. So, you might not find understanding from those around you, you might even get judged because there are a lot of human beings who judge or criticize what they cannot understand or approve of, you might feel alone because the people you know might not relate to your experience/situation, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. No, it just means you have to hold your hand and be your biggest cheerleader because, you might be on your own when making that big change/going for that bold dream, but you’re not totally alone since you have yourself in your corner, since you can count on you, no matter what. And yes, others wouldn’t understand because they didn’t feel like you, maybe ever, or they knew themselves and what they wanted sooner so they didn’t get to their breaking point/limit, or they ignored their inner voice so much that it got harder to hear it at all and now they live their life by default/according to others’ rules/the way they were taught, not how they really want.
So, as you can see above, there are many reasons why you might find it hard to relate to someone else’s experience or you might not find understanding around you, and that’s because, I repeat, we are different in some many ways and also, it’s impossible to fully understand how another person is feeling even though you are in the same situation. And the reason why I decided to broach this topic is to encourage you to take the leap of faith even if there’s no one there to help/support/cheer you on, even if those closest to you may not understand your decision or show you understanding, even if others may not approve of you following your biggest dreams.
I’m really glad that I took the decision last year and not waited until the “right” moment or the “right” circumstances because, even though I could have made my life easier in a way with some good planning and a little more time, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now, I wouldn’t have enjoyed some of the amazing experiences I had in 2025, my life wouldn’t be filled with as much beauty, joy and freedom, as it is today, if I had postponed the move. So, for me it truly was the best choice, even if for others it didn’t make a lot of sense to hurry as I did. And I don’t have any regrets even though I didn’t fall in love with the apartment I currently live in and never will since it doesn’t meet some of my most important criteria, but I am here only temporarily so it was okay in the end because I didn’t want to wait any longer and it compensated through others ways. Also, most likely I wouldn’t have finished my book last year if I wouldn’t have made the complete scenery change because it would have been so much harder to do it in my old living place.
True, it was a big thing to do alone, a little bit scary too, but it wasn’t out of my comfort zone since I’ve been on my own and taking care of my needs/necessities for a long time. Yes, I admit, it is harder in some ways but I can do hard things and I know this because I proved to myself in the past that I can. And now I am confident enough to do whatever I set my mind to because I did some hard things before, because I took bold decisions, because I went after my biggest dreams. So that’s how you grow your self-confidence: by doing the scary/big things even if you are doing them alone, actually, especially when you are doing them without someone to hold your hand, even if others don’t understand or encourage you; by carving a better and happier life for yourself in a new city/country; by creating whatever you want to create without thinking about whether others would like your creations or what they would think of them; by being scared and doing it anyway; by making big changes “just” for you or “just” to be happier because not enough people are doing that.
The reason why I’m writing about my experience is because we, women, don’t often move to another city “just” for ourselves or “just” to be happier and we are usually encouraged to follow our partner or stay close to the family or make such a big change only if there’s a great job opportunity waiting for us somewhere else. So, I’m hoping that by reading my blog post you feel encouraged to think about what you really want and then to give yourself that, to follow your boldest dreams, to see beyond the cultural norms or the rules made up by other people and to start making your own, to make the big change you’ve been pondering for a while but didn’t actually act on because it didn’t seem right/possible to do it “just” for yourself or “just” to be happier, to listen to your soul’s whispers or cries when it feels ignored/crushed/unheard and do something about it.
Sure, your life may not change completely or overnight, as it may take more than one major change to be able to live the life you want: you might need to move to another house and change your job; change your job and break-up with your current partner; you might need to move to a big city and make new friends; and so on. But at least you will be happier if you’re gonna follow your dreams, if you’re gonna start living life on your own terms, if you’re gonna do things “just” for yourself. Also, doing big changes “just” for yourself is a good enough reason to them, a valid one, and it’s actually more than that, it’s a self-love thing.
P.S. You can do it on your own, you can make your biggest dreams a reality, you can go after that scary/bold thing. And, it’s more than okay and right to do it “just” for yourself or “just” to be happier, even if those around you don’t approve or encourage you. Make that change “just” for you, “just” to be happier, you deserve it. 💜
