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- Being in acceptance of life how it is, of the things that are happening and you have no control over
This is a hard one, I know, but I think it is the first step on being happier or at least, not feeling so miserable. And what I mean when I talk about acceptance is: accepting those situations when you cannot change something/someone’s behavior and then act accordingly; feeling your emotions when things happen in a way that you don’t like and then moving on from there; understanding that life doesn’t unfold exactly as you wish because it has its own agenda, so to speak. Acceptance is about realizing that you are not in control of most things in your life and all you can do is to accept them how they are and then to choose your response/reaction towards them because, your behavior it’s the one thing you do have control over. It is about understanding that the illusion of control we sometimes feel is just that, an illusion.
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- Spending… time in nature (You thought I’d say money, right? 😂)
This is pretty obvious, no more explaining left to do here since for sure you’ve felt how good it feels when being outside for a bit, how your energy/mental state/emotional health are benefiting from spending some time in nature so, I’m only gonna ask you (pretty please) to enjoy this activity on a regular basis, especially now that the weather is more inviting for us to do so.
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- Just being
You may wonder what this means, it may be a new language for you so I will explain a bit, mostly for workaholics- who don’t know anything about this foreign affair, and overthinkers- who think too much and even when it seems they’re not doing something, they are, it’s just… they’re doing it only in their head and that’s why you cannot see the physical results 😂. I’m not pointing fingers, I’m one of them, overthinkers I mean because workaholics don’t know my name. 🤣
Just being it means: having moments to do… nothing, taking some time to… take a look around, having a few minutes to… just breathe. I know it’s harder to think of just being in this keep hustling/being so busy/doing more culture we’re living in nowadays, but life is a balance between do and be. So, if we’re always doing things, how are we gonna see the beauty that surrounds us? And, if we’re so busy working for our future, how are we gonna live in the present? And, if we’re always hustling for the next goal and striving for more, how are we gonna enjoy what we have now and see how far we’ve come?
We all need some time to… just be, on a regular basis. And don’t take my word for it, just think about what we are and that is, human beings. So, it’s in our own name and that says it all. And since we’re not called human doings, don’t you believe we should think more about being?
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- Not giving an F about what other people think
You understand that word right? Because I really cannot spell it for you and not because of its licentious spelling, for crying out loud, there are songs with the F word in them. No, it’s just because I don’t say that word aloud. Yes, I’ve thought it in my head but thank God no one has read my mind yet because for sure I would have had to pay a lot of money for emotional distress and even emotional damage 😂, not because of the occasional swearing since it is a normal thing for a lot of people, but because I’m an overthinker and a highly sensitive person so those 2 combined wreak havoc in my mind.
And you may ask why I’m rambling about one single word instead of continuing with some other important key, well… it’s just to prove my point. I do not care what anybody thinks about what I’ve just written or in fact about anything, most of the time anyway. Yes, most of the time, because I’m only human after all 🤪 and there are still moments when I care too much about someone’s opinion. But, I learned the hard way (by getting hurt/upset/affected negatively because of what others have said) that I should only care about what I think, no matter what someone else might believe. Yes, you can listen to another person’s opinion, but in the end it’s your life you’re living so, it only matters what you really feel/think/need/want/dream.
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- Taking time for yourself
To get to know yourself and to see what makes you happy so you don’t get to live your life on autopilot or according to society’s standards/rules, but to actually choose how to live it. To recover and give yourself a break when you need one. To listen to yourself and meet your needs.
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- Listening to your favorite music
And singing aloud, if no one’s around in case you have a great case of “breaking glass syndrome” 😂, meaning that you are really voiceless or totally out of sync, like I am. Of course I’m singing out loud just to have fun and fully enjoy my favorite songs, but only when I’m all alone. I know, you might think it contradicts the key “Not giving an F about what other people think”, but I still want to have a few people in my life and my total lack of vocal rhythm will definitely be in the way of this goal, especially since I’m not living in a cave (not yet anyway, because that idea is really appealing to me sometimes 🤣).
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- Lowering your expectations
I think it’s unrealistic to say giving up expectations completely, but at least we can have less of them or lower the threshold so they can be met in order to not accumulate so many disappointments and hurts.
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- Finding some hobbies that are good for your soul
We all need to relax, to unwind, to recover and we all deserve to engage in some activities that bring us a big smile on our face and help us enjoy life more. Hobbies are a great way to do that and if you are not sure what it is that makes you lose track of time when engaging in it or makes you feel all fuzzy inside or makes your heart sing, you can try a few things to see what is the best fit for you, what you really love doing. It may be reading (a lot of the time it is my first choice 🤩), writing (yes, it’s more than a hobby for me, it’s a full on passion, but it can be just a hobby when you’re not trying to make a living out if it or you’re doing it just because you like the act of creating something with words), dancing (I’m doing this pretty often too because it’s not only fun and an endorphins bringing activity, but it also helps me move my body in an easy and great way, especially since I have a sedentary job), painting, making Origami, doing puzzles, playing some kind of sport just for fun (chess, tennis, bowling, pool, etc), drawing, sculpting, gardening, sewing, singing, coloring, etc. There are a lot of activities that can bring some happiness or joy into your days, you only need to try a few if you don’t know what are the ones that will do that for you or what are those that make you detach/unwind/soothe/relax for a bit when you need to. And don’t forget that, you don’t have to be good at your hobby, at all, no, you only need to have fun while doing it, regardless if you’re skilled or not, you may voiceless at singing (as I am), but if you enjoy singing a lot and it makes you happier, then do it as often as you can.
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- Working for your dreams and living your life how you want to live it
It doesn’t mean you have to take big actions everyday because that is not always possible, but I’m talking about at least taking baby steps towards your dreams, about figuring out what you want and moving at your own pace towards that, about making small changes in order to be more fulfilled with the life you’re living or to transform it in one that you really love. Knowing what you want gives you clarity and gets you out of that feeling of being stuck or trapped in your life because then you can go after your dreams, then you can do something that helps you start living life on your terms and follow your vision, not that of others.
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- Creating your own habits for happiness
Happiness is subjective so, you must find what it is that makes you happy, what are the things you can do on a daily basis so you can feel happier, what habits you can incorporate into your life so you can elevate your happiness level or at least, to feel it in your heart more often. I will give you some examples from my own life, if you need some inspiration: reading almost everyday, working out a few days a week, putting my phone on airplane mode weekly so I can detach for a while, meditating on a daily basis, having movie nights often, engaging in the HSA course, spending time in nature regularly, writing for my blog/books, taking moments to just be, participating in the HSA webinars, listening to music and dancing on my favorite tunes, enrolling in a personal development program regularly to learn new things and make some changes in my life/within myself, enjoying my favorite TV series, etc.
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- Letting go of the pressure you put on yourself
We face enough of it from society and I think most of us are familiar with the pressure to: look a certain way; do everything we need to fit in; eat the “right foods”; get that thing until a certain age; show the world a curated image and not the real us; “be good”; date the “right way”; conform to standards; follow the path of others before you. So let’s not add even more pressure, this time coming from us. So, let go of the pressure to: do everything on your to-do list; say YES when you want to say NO; stick with your plans although you’ve changed your mind; finish that course even if you realized you don’t like it that much/you don’t have enough time for it; go out when you’d rather stay in; follow that strict routine even though you like a more gentler, but consistent approach; remain close friends with someone because of the shared history; be reliable instead of your inconsistent self; put on a mask to show you’re ok when you’re not; always be there for your loved ones because that’s how “real selflessness” looks like, etc. So let’s stop adding more pressure onto us and let’s start getting rid of some of it because: we deserve to live life on our own terms and not on those of society; we deserve to feel more carefree and less overwhelmed; we deserve to be more relaxed and less stressed. We are here on this earth: to experience life, not to be the most productive person; to have time for ourselves, not just for our loved ones and job; to feel life, not to hide our emotions; to be ourselves, not a carbon copy of another; to enjoy life through our body, not to mold it in order to be accepted by others; to be our messy, imperfect self, not to become perfect.
P.S. What are the keys that, if implemented in your life, would you benefit from? Try them for a while and see how that feels like. There is only one risk involved in trying, you might actually become happier. 🌈
