An almost missed amazing opportunity because of the false beliefs put in my mind by the diet culture

       Greece is one of the countries I really wanted to visit in this life and actually, it was on my dreamboard in 2020, the year when I did for the first time such a board (and the only time since I didn’t finish the one I’ve started for 2021) so, when I received a really great opportunity to go there I should have said YES on the spot, right?

       Well… I didn’t happen exactly like that and not because there was a real reason for saying NO, it was mostly because my mind was so messed up by almost two decades of conditioning by the society’s bs rules imposed on us, media’s misrepresentation of the female body, all around women’s discussions about calories/dieting/losing weight and a lot of years of bad thinking like: I’m not slim or fit enough (for what and why the heck do we measure this things anyway?); I have to continuously diet and workout in order to reach and maintain the ideal weight (who’s ideal because I didn’t think of that until others around me started talking about it and made me believe there was a certain standard to comply to); I don’t look like other women do, always coming up short (and I never will because there aren’t two bodies alike and comparing myself with another person is futile, totally pointless and actually absurd, since we’re always gonna be different in some way). 

      So, instead of saying YES to a dream coming true, I first refused the amazing gift brought to me by the Universe when asked to spend a few days in Greece. And it really was a gift since the accommodation and transport was paid for, so I only needed money for food and my expenses there. Yes, it’s crazy to say NO to that, right? A small worry on my part was going on a vacation with children, since silence is my favorite sound and I was still feeling a little bit fragile after the depression’s recent departure from my life, but the main reason was due to the shame of uncovering my body and that’s because it changed recently since my depression was really generous and left me with a present like, around 10 kilograms plus on the scale. I made peace with now being the heaviest I’ve been in my whole life and it was a good thing that I took with me from my dark period because, when you’re going through a hard time emotionally, when your mental health is affected badly, you come to realize that the way you look is not as important as being mentally ok. But, it’s something else to reveal your new body wearing only a bathing suit that does not cover your cellulite, fat parts, bloating caused by the ibs or skin spots. 

      The great thing is that, I was already working with my mind on getting rid of a lot of false beliefs, not caring anymore about other people’s opinion, learning to accept my body for how it is in the now since it’s not just an image in the mirror or a number on the scale so, because I have done a tone of work in my journey to love myself totally, with flaws and imperfections, it was easier to be okay with my new look, while dressed. Still, I wasn’t so ready to make an appearance on the beautiful Greece, mainly because I didn’t have “a beach body”. “Beach body” is such a bs phrasing, so hurtful, untrue, damaging, discriminating and it shouldn’t be used in any way because ALL bodies are ready for beach, ALL people are deserving to go to the sea/ocean/pool, no matter how they look, especially since more than 80 % of the women living on the blue planet have cellulite (and I bet the most majority of female aliens have it too, but having a green skin it doesn’t show so much ).

       So, I can say that the foundation was already already built and I did go to the sea twice in my life before but not in today’s body, in a slimmer one, because being brainwashed by diet culture it meant I was almost always dieting and still I felt ashamed of my body when going to the beach, even if it was fitter and lighter by 12-15 kg. 

       And it is a really good thing that I have done a lot of work in the past because all I needed was a push to go beyond that frontier of being okay with how I look in the present fully dressed (most of the time anyway, because I’m not perfect and I do have some days when it’s harder to accept my imperfections or to love myself completely, but it’s ok since I’m only human after all ) and what I see in the mirror wearing just a bathing suit. And that little nudge that I needed came from a great book, one that I think should be read by all women and girls, especially since media’s bs rules, the never ending losing weight/dieting/beach body chats all around us, the bad message promoting you need to look a certain way that, let’s be real, it’s a big and fat lie (pun intended), and the false representation of woman’s body through photoshopped photos, it wreaks havoc on the mind of young people, messing up with their heads. So, Alex’s Light fantastic book “You are not a before picture” it reminded me that I lost a lot of moments not saying YES to invitations or opportunities wrongly believing I had to have an ideal weight for going out to the pool, feeling ashamed of the way I looked and being so fed up to be judged/criticized for being “overweight”. And one messed up thing is that, I really wasn’t so heavy or “bad looking “ as I perceived myself, since I weighed 65-68 kilograms at the height of 1,63 cm. The second one is that, I’ve come to accept my body now when the scale shows the biggest number it showed in my entire life. 

       The good news is that, I have achieved a lot of great things throughout my journey from body shame to body acceptance/positivity and body love: I’ve freed myself from the diet culture; I’ve learned to love all of me; I’m not ashamed to go to the beach anymore; I’ve stopped dieting and instead I’m trying to eat as healthy as I can, not avoiding any food groups completely or eating conform other people’s rules/example, instead choosing what I see fit for me, what I want and need; I’m working out because I love to, not because I have to lose weight or burn calories when I’ve eaten too much or worse, to deserve my food (this is such a bs false belief since our body needs energy and nutrients to survive, to keep us alive, and we do not have to exercise in order to “deserve food”, but we need to eat to live); I’m not saying NO when I want to say YES and vice versa; I fulfilled my dream of going to Greece and I had a really great time, not caring about how I was looking in a swimsuit or what those around me were thinking about my body. 

       For all of that I’m so very grateful and I want to say THANK YOU, to me in the first place, because I did the work required to shed the false beliefs enforced on us by those around, to get rid of the negative way I was perceiving my body, to free myself from society’s rules/standards/expectations, to accept me for the person I am today and become happier. Of course, I still have more work to do since there are almost twenty years of not feeling good about the image in the mirror, of living in non-body acceptance, but I think most of the work is done because now I’m at peace with my body, I actually love it and I am seeing it for what it is: a home for my soul, a vessel for my mind, a beautiful and strong one through which I can experience life here, on the blue planet. Secondly, I want to thank all the great human beings that helped me feel better about how I look, taught me some things about the diet culture, showed me their flawsome bodies, inspired me to love myself and are working to change the bad message that society is promoting to us. I’m thankful and grateful to all the influencers, writers, singers, body positivity/neutrality/acceptance advocates, bloggers, song writers, speakers, journalists, etc, that are changing the world post by post, book by book, song by song, article by article, video by video, podcast by podcast, talk by talk, conversation by conversation.

 

Something to think about:

• • Haven’t you lost enough time trying to fit in/conform to society’s unrealistic/false/absurd standards?

• • Aren’t you tired of having to think twice on saying YES or worse, saying NO, to invitations/opportunities because the “I’m not slim/skinny/fit enough” thoughts play too big of a role in your responses/refuses?

• • Isn’t it about time to start thinking “I am enough” and understand that the way you look is not as important as your personality or how you behave? 

• • Don’t you believe that you’ve lost enough moments of joy by caring what others think of your body? And that today it may be a great day to stop listening to someone else’s opinion of you?

• • Don’t you realize that life is now and thinking “I will do this/wear that/go there when I will be slimmer/thinner” stops you from actually living?

Food for body, mind and soul:

• • Instagram accounts (random order, I think they all are amazing and I give many thanks to every single one of these wonderful content creators/influencers, they have all my gratitude ):

1. https://www.instagram.com/georgieeswallow/ 

2. https://www.instagram.com/katiesturino/

3. https://www.instagram.com/em_clarkson/

4. https://www.instagram.com/i_weigh/

5. https://www.instagram.com/danaemercer/

6. https://www.instagram.com/meganjaynecrabbe/

7. https://www.instagram.com/georginacoxpersonaltraining/

8. https://www.instagram.com/breeelenehan/

9. https://www.instagram.com/soheefit/

10. https://www.instagram.com/yourbodyisworthy/

11. https://www.instagram.com/izzierodgers/

12. https://www.instagram.com/_nelly_london/

13. https://www.instagram.com/alexlight_ldn/

 

• • Books (many thanks to the authors of these books, they have all my gratitude ):

1. More Than a Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, not an Ornament- Lindsay Kite PhD& Lexie Kite PhD

2. You Are Not a Before Picture: How to finally make peace with your body, for good- Alex Light

3. Body Talk: How to Embrace Your Body and Start Living Your Best Life- Katie Sturino

4. Body Positive Power: How learning to love yourself will save your life- Megan Jayne Crabbe

 

• • Songs (many thanks to the writers/singers of these songs, they have all my gratitude ):

1. Victoria’s secret- Jax

2. I love me- Demi Lovato

3. Scars to your beautiful- Alessia Cara

4. Beautiful- Christina Aguilera

5. Gracias- Thalia

 

• • TED talks (many thanks to this great people, they have all my gratitude ):

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAgawjzimjc

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d88uXMWSVfU

3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_Ml3yr32bU

 

P.S. This is my story, thankfully one with a happy ending and I do hope that a whole lot more women will have their own happy end one, a story they choose to write themselves for them, not letting society write it in their place and continue dictating how they should feel/look in their body or how much they should weigh/eat/workout.

       So, please learn from my mistakes or your past ones, and start enjoying your life right now, not waiting to lose some kilograms/centimeters/cellulite in order to be happy, to say YES, to really live. No one knows what tomorrow holds, no one truly knows there’s even a tomorrow for you or me, so let’s not waste the sureness of today for the uncertainty of tomorrow. And trust me, a lot of people are already believing “Your body is the least interesting thing about you” (I’m pretty certain you have heard this before, but we need a constant reminder because we tend to forget it in today’s based on appearances world) so, maybe it’s time to start believing yourself too. Take your power back and begin your body acceptance/ neutrality/positivity/love journey today. Life is really too short and hard enough to continue hating/not loving the physical part of yourself and to let society tell you that you should look a certain way. 

       You’re more than an image in the mirror, more than a number on the scale, so start acting accordingly. You’re not a body. You’re a soul, with a beautiful heart, a strong mind and a great body. You’re an amazing human being, so start treating yourself like one.