On Friday 16th of June, the day before my birthday, I had a mini panic attack when taking a gondola ride, even if it wasn’t the first time I had such a ride, not even the second but our brain is a funny thing 🤪. My heart started racing when the gondola began moving above the city because my “benevolent” mind (it really wasn’t at all at that time 😂) started filling my head with scary thoughts and then all I could think was: “I can’t do this”; “Why did I decide to do it?”; “This ride is taking too long”; “The gondola is being held in the air only by a single cable”; “How I’m gonna return because I really can’t take the ride back?”; etc. Yes, I did try to work with my mind by saying to her that this gondola is from 2006 so it’s not that old, that it’s not my first time doing this, because, that’s the crazy thing, I have done it 2 times before and I loved the experience, so it wasn’t a big deal for me to do it again. So I thought…
The funny thing is that, the second time I went with a cable car I was with a friend and she felt like I did this year in June and because then I was completely fine, I had comforted her during that gondola ride. So, it was a bit of a shock to find myself in this situation since it wasn’t my first rodeo, not even the second, and because I also went ziplining twice in my life. I don’t know exactly why I didn’t enjoy the experience on that Friday and on the contrary, it left me thinking I’m not doing this ever again but, I think my mind was a bit frail at that time since I was going through a stressful period, also my nights weren’t very restful and I wasn’t having enough sleep. I believe it was a combination of work-related stress, a little bit of anxiety because in May I went through a negative family event which made me be in a place of expecting the other shoe to drop, not enough sleep, and a negative state of mind due to the challenging times I was facing. Yes, I had already started doing something to change the way I was feeling, to take better care of my mental health but, when your body has been for a while in a continuous flight or fight state (and a lot of times I actually found myself in the freeze mode when things felt like too much to handle) you don’t snap out of it instantly, the stress effects can last for a long period of time if you don’t do something about it early on.
Anyway, the point is that it was a bit of a shock to have a mini panic attack (since I do depression, I don’t do panic attacks 😂) when having an experience I already had before and after returning at the initial starting point of the ride to think: “Thank God it’s over”, “I’m so thankful to still be alive” and “I’m not doing this again”. But… since I know I’m the one controlling my mind and not the other way around (even though on that day I’m pretty sure she was pretty much in control 🤪), the next day I decided to do that “scary” thing again on Sunday because I wanted to conquer my fears and to not let my mind have the final say, also so I can ask her “Who died and made you the boss? 🤣”.
The great thing was that, just the decision to go on the gondola ride again because I wanted to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone since the previous ride was anything but comfortable, to do a thing that has become scary to me, to do it so I can conquer my fears, made me feel better about the future ride, made me feel stronger and proud of myself, therefore on Sunday I had a different mentality. So, my second experience with a cable car in Piatra Neamt was quite contrasting to the first one I had in that city. Of course, like I previously said, just the decision of doing it again in order to not let that very unpleasant ride stop me from having or enjoying future ones made a whole lot of a difference so, I didn’t start the journey with the negative mindset I was in when finishing my first gondola ride. And, even though I was in a better headspace I wanted to take some preventive measures ahead of time so, when the gondola began moving I did a breathing technique to help my brain get out of “fight and flight” mode and enter in the “rest and relax” one. And yes, I did enjoy the ride the second time around, and yes, my mind still tried to make the journey a bit uncomfortable but I set her straight by showing I’m the boss 💪 so, when she said things like “It’s not impossible for that cable to break”/ “Even though you might not have heard of gondola accidents it doesn’t mean they aren’t possible”/ “There are quite a few people in this world who died by trying to conquer their fears”, I counteracted with “That cable is really strong and pretty unbreakable”/ “Yes, accidents do happen but is most likely to get hurt or die from a car accident and you don’t see me stop driving or traveling by car anymore, do you?”/ “If I die today because I was trying to conquer my fears, so be it, there are worse ways to die”. So, at the end of that journey I felt so freaking happy and proud of myself, I got out of the cable car by knowing I will be doing it again, I even thought that, on the “Easy guide to happiness” that was written on the T-shirt I was wearing should be added “conquering your fears”.
The conclusion is that, I’ve rewritten the stories of “gondola rides are scary”/ “Why am I doing this?”/ “I might have a panic attack while experiencing one” by replacing them with “I do love gondola rides” (especially since I truly do)/ “I really like seeing the city from above”/ “I will be doing this again”. And that was because: I knew that growth comes from getting out of my comfort zone and doing what feels uncomfortable so I really had to try it again; I understood that my mind doesn’t have the final say, but I do; I took the decision to change the unwanted stories and replace them with other ones that were making me feel better.
Something to think about:
- What fears do you want to conquer?
- Choose one and take baby steps towards that if you can’t really rip off the Band-Aid from the start.
- Is there a fear that’s holding you back from following your dreams or creating the life you want? The best thing to conquer it is by: starting to work for your dreams/your best life even if you are afraid, doing something to move towards your goals today (it can be the smallest action), moving forward scared. The only way to conquer the fears that hold us back is by taking action even if we are really afraid and we shake in our boots so hard that we hear our teeth clatter in our mouth when we think about doing it. 😂 There isn’t another way around it, we just have to go through the fear to get to the other side of our dreams.
The breathing technique I did as a preventive measure (and used a lot as a meditation for relieving stress) on my second gondola ride in Piatra Neamt was: inhaling for 4 seconds and then exhaling for 8 seconds. The main principle of it is to double the length of the exhale. Also, you can start by gradually increasing the number of seconds for the inhale/exhale. For example, you can begin to inhale for 2 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds. After a few rounds, you can inhale for 3 seconds followed by an exhale of 6 seconds. And after a while, you can move to inhaling for 4 seconds and then exhaling for 8 seconds. Recently I discovered another version of this breathing exercise for stress relief: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and then exhale for 8 seconds.
From what I’ve learned so far, I can share with you a few techniques to help you when you feel the anxiety/overwhelm creeping in:
- When you feel your mind start spiraling focus on: 5 things you can see in the environment you’re in, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste.
- Box breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds.
- Journaling: just pour your thoughts onto the paper, regardless of grammar/right spelling or ugly writing. The goal is to slow down for a bit and writing helps because your hand can’t keep up with your mind so she does need to take it a bit slower; also, seeing things black on white makes you realize is not that bad or you understand that your thoughts are just that, just thoughts, and a lot of the time they aren’t even true, they are only a figment of your vivid imagination. By writing, you clear your mind for a bit, you take a step back from the situation that makes you feel angst, you invite a few moments of calm into your head.
- Move your body: go for a run, take a walk outside and really focus on your surroundings by moving your attention from inward to outward, do an online workout, go to the gym, put your playlist on and dance like nobody’s watching, do a yoga practice, etc.
- Take some time to just do nothing: start by having a few deep breaths, then shift your perspective to the present moment and just be, while looking through the window/at the sky, or just enjoy a coffee/tea and only focus on the mug you’re keeping in your hand, on the hot/cold beverage you’re sipping, on savoring it.
Happy fact: The world’s happiest man is considered to be Matthieu Ricard, a buddist monk and author.
