welcome to my blog

       Believe it or not, I never was the type of person who wanted to be in the spotlight because I’m an introvert so, being open about my beliefs, experiences and feelings with strangers, is not something I thought I would do. Far from it, I actually preferred to be in the dark, to lurk in the shadows (not really because I’m not a psychotic killer), but my point is that, I have grown a lot as a human being, I have experienced bad times and good ones, like all of us, I did the work required to be where I am now, mentally and emotionally speaking, and I’ve learned some things I want to share on this blog, in the hope that will help other people feel better about themselves, about their life and do the changes necessary to be more happy. And the fact that today I’m able to step into the light, to let myself be seen for who I am, to use my voice unafraid (hmm… nope, I’m still afraid, but the antidote of fear is, coincidently or not, the Nike’s motto “just do it”), it’s a huge stepping stone that I’m proud to be passing by. You may wonder why I’m rambling so much about this instead of getting to the point, and the answer is: 

• This is my blog and here I get to do whatever I want, this is the space that gives me total freedom to write everything I choose to;
• Becoming confident enough to launch this website is a big thing for me and, as I’ve seen around so many times, there are a lot of amazing women who don’t have self-confidence and I think that sharing more about my growth in this area shows it’s truly possible to start believing in yourself, even if you didn’t for most of your life;
• I know from my own experience and findings of psychologists/ personal development experts that, becoming more confident in ourselves increases our happiness because this way we have the courage to try new things, and our brain needs new experiences, so when we do stuff we never tried before but we believe we’d like them, it secretes the good feeling hormones. 

Ok, I’m done talking about this topic. For now, anyway.

        To get to know me a little bit better (again, not that you asked for it, but I think it’s a must to introduce myself if I’m gonna write about personal things and share intimate thoughts with you), I want to enumerate some of my qualities and also my flaws, because I’m not perfect and we need some balance in life, right?

        Yes, today it’s easy to portrait myself in a few words, a task that seemed harder to accomplish a while ago, but so it doesn’t look like a brag , instead of writing point black what are the best parts of my personality I’m gonna share what my family and friends think those are, learning this mainly when I asked them to tell me 5 qualities I have (not because I thought of asking them that out of the blue, no freaking way, but because it was for an exercise from a confidence course I was in back then) and other times when they felt like complimenting me. So, a few of those good things overlapped (it’s very normal since I’m a pretty transparent person and what you see is what you get, actually, you get a little bit more because I don’t reveal all of me from the start) and I’m gonna write them here since more people have seen these qualities in me: 

• a positive person (I totally agree, but it takes constant work and it’s not something that comes naturally to me, so I’m not like this all the time); 
• smart (you might think that’s strange since I only have 1 neuron , but it’s true, I love how my mind works, for most of the time anyway because sometimes it gets out of the rails, so I have to do something to get it back on tracks);
• kind (I try, but I cannot always be this way because I’m not the incarnation of Mother Teresa 🤪);
• funny (I’m convinced that like 99% percent of those who know me would agree, but honestly, what it really matters is that I know this is one of my top qualities and I love to see this one in myself, especially since my middle name is… “Funny”);
• patient (mostly accurate, but sometimes patience it’s stretched pretty thin, so I need some more work to do in order to refill my patience tank; also, they are talking about being patient with other people- which I worked on to be like that- since they didn’t know that I’m pretty impatient in many situations- waiting in line or at an appointment/expecting a package or confirmation/waiting for an answer or reply/etc- because I have ADHD);
• calm (this is another one that requires work from time to time, because indeed, I’m a calmer person than a lot of other people around, but when I don’t take enough ME TIME and prioritize my needs I lose a bit of that calmness and instead it’s replaced with irritation/frustration/anger);
• strong (another one of my favorite things about me, especially after going through depression).

         Ok, that’s enough about the good parts (not to brag but the list is longer ), so let’s get real so it doesn’t go to my head and even the score with some flaws: 

• stubborn ( “don’t tell me what to do, ok?”, on some occasions I do turn it into something good like, following my own way even if some people don’t approve of it, and others have noticed that too). Oh man… not a good start since I wanted to create some balance so everyone doesn’t see only the good things in me;
• closed off (I’m working on this flaw because I want and need to be more open);
• set in my ways/too rigid (I’m working in this department also because I feel too hard when things don’t evolve how I want them to);
• inflexible (not to sound like a broken record but I do work on this too since I’ve learned the hard way that being inflexible makes you unhappy);
• too sensitive (again, I do turn it in something positive and I do think we need more empathy and sensibility in this world, but I’m talking about taking things too personal and getting upset/offended easily because of someone else’s words. Only after writing this I found out that I have ADHD, so it isn’t technically a flaw because it’s due to my brain being wired differently. But I will leave this here because I don’t like even numbers. 

        I guess all the work I did with my mind has done its job right because now it’s easier to see the bright parts of my personality and I’m trying harder to find more flaws, to have a balance, or, it may possibly be that I have more qualities? Hmm… in my case I think both are true. So, I just find out that modesty isn’t amongst my strengths and also, that I’m fine with that . I want to add the fact that I’m rebellious, I don’t blindly follow anyone, I don’t care about what others do, but instead I do what I want/believe is right for me, even if those around don’t think the same or don’t approve and most importantly, I am unapologetically myself. 

        I do hope you’ll keep reading my articles and you haven’t gotten scared after this extensive monologue. Most of all, I hope that my writing doesn’t do good just for me, but also for you, because that’s the reason I’ve launched the blog, instead of keeping the ideas and lessons learned in my journals. 

        That’s it for this about page, I think I introduced myself pretty well (and pretty long ), so now it’s time to focus on creating something positive but also real, because I may have my head in the clouds a lot of times, but life knows how to drag me back to the ground, too hard sometimes, as you will see by reading my articles.

        Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time from your day to read my words!

       May you have a happy day,

        Niki